drunkenpandaren

It's barely noon and my day has been complete and utter shite. It is like punishment from God since I got up this morning and it hasn't stopped one bit to give me a moments peace before I completely lose it. Really, I am worked up, tired, angry, frustrated and it never stops screwing up.

Not only do I have a terrible headache and headcold, but the stress is mounting day by day in order to find work. If I could get work I could but I can't do anything unless I get a call back. I've submitted my application to a lot of places over the last few weeks and I haven't heard from anyone at all which is upsetting. Even more upsetting is that ma is apparently on the frickin warpath today, calling me useless on top of things and lazy.

Yeah, way to be supportive ma. Really. Just go ahead and say things that hurt my feelings, never apologize for it and feel like you're the victim here. Fantastic you should win an award for that.

I dunno, between this, the DDOS absolutely ruining my entire mood for RP for the last MONTH to say the least of the snails pace Spamalot turned out to be, I just want to get out of the house and do something constructive. However I already DID THAT this morning, and now I'm stuck in front of the comp again.

Kyle's coming home to what I figure is going to be a shitstorm since he also forgot his medication here at the house. He's totally buggered if he doesn't have it so he has to come back. Or I go there. But after ma's angry ANGRY tirade this morning I'd rather just give a metaphorical middle finger and not go anywhere.

Sigh.

What a clusterfuck this day has been and its only Tuesday. Goddamn really. Makes me want to drink harder sometimes.

Aim just died for me. And I tried my alt SNs. don't work.

Get me here if you need me.

So today, after I announce a hiatus to clear my head and regain ideas, I was told I was "character squatting" and it was apparently a "Very Bad Thing" in centralized RP.

Really. If you believe that, I've got a bridge in Honolulu to sell you that connects us to California.

Said game is Never Was if you must know.

Really. If RP wasn't stress inducing enough, I have to be critted on my Negi by a T9 former member. And to be all perfectly honest, I'm glad they were frank about it, but if there's any more shit about that kid, I am going to pod him in less than three minutes starting now.

First Panda gets on my ass for using one of Chao's spells. Then I get critted hard for the sleepwalking. And then on top of that I'm having to deal with possibly Eva's mun going >_> about the sleepwalking too. He's got his reasons people other than just pure lulz which I intentionally was going for!

Seriously. If I get any more shit, I'm letting the mods know about the sudden drop and repodding him asap.

And then I'll app Theo or Rakan. See how they like THAT.

Due to my Avast running out, my computer started to reveal to me that the entire computer system was infected. And before I could do a damn thing, I was forced into a corner. Over 1/2 of my computer was infected before I could BLINK.

So, as such I was forced to format my drive.

Here's the kicker. You know that Terrabyte big backup I have? It has NOTHING in it. NOTHING. Apparently the external book didn't pick up anything.

Sigh.

So I'm asking anyone who has links to media or places that I enjoy previously plus fanfics to send them along. I lost everything and I mean everything. 7 years worth of fandom gone in an instant.

Out of all of the nightmares I have, the lucid ones are the worst. They always seem so incredibly real because your body is waking up.

Had one this morning before waking. Dreamed I was taking a walk in the middle of the night when accosted by two men, a heavy set bearded overweight man and his stoner companion. He stole my wallet so I held onto his shirt, chasing him into a nearby building. I overpowered him, leaving him a mess on the ground and then for some reason, drew a sword on the other as I dragged him into the fray. Disarmed him of his knife and when the gun came out, I looked at it before counterattacking, the bullet bouncing off my shoulder. In the end I took a huge sum of money from them and ran home, all shook up. After calling the police of the attempted robbery, I finally realized I was having a lucid dream and I woke up, completely shook to pieces.

I dunno what's worse, a dream of zombies or a lucid nightmare like that. So in short, it's 8am, two hours before I usually wake up, and I'm drinking coffee, my hands shaking from the memory.

Dreams suck sometimes.

Damn. I shoulda realized that the Auto-Backup program was running when I deleted all of that anime and movies and pictures. I lost most of it. Nanoha, Medabots, Bakugan, the whole nine yards.

Can't even system restore to get those files back. They're gone.

Well, you win some you loose some.