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A serious topic for once...
Mar. 6th, 2005 10:46 pm... don't let this become a habit.
Time for Shaun's rarely used Serious Mode.
It's my mom again. She's feeling horrible that dad is constantly away. Compound that with no vacation time and two full time jobs and it makes it difficult for her. She's breaking down emotionally and physically. Today she brought out the "Can you survive if I die and dad remarries?" spiel.
Normally I don't let this bother me. I should rephrase that. I CANNOT let it bother me.
I have no doubt that my dad loves my mom and vice versa. But it's becoming hard with him constantly off on some event in another province, another country or even overseas for a month. And dad's feeling the strain too from all the travelling. Saying that he feels worried that Kyle and I are unconcerned that he's not home.
For Kyle, I understand where he's coming from. He's emotionally deadened by his medication which is an anti-depressant and he has a different schedule than dad does. For me, I'm the housekeeper.
I'm in the house more than mom, dad and Kyle combined. I get talked to a lot even though Kyle's not the most sociable person on the face of the planet. And I hear things that makes me ignore the senario around me.
It's not that I ignore things really, it's more like, I cannot let it bother me because of the simple fact that I'd be emotionally burdened for the rest of the year. And my work was affected the LAST time this occoured when mom was heaping her fears of dad leaving her onto me. I can't imagine how terrible it'd be if I had to suddenly quit school AFTER the drop date because I can't focus without bombing.
I understand my mom's fears. She's not as emotionally and physically tough as my dad is. She's fragile compared to him and gets worried easily. Two jobs, providing for three people, four if dad's home, dad is off on vacations and the buisness trips and she wants everyone to go on the August Fishing Trip to Vancouver Island. It's tough, really, to see your mom so fragile after seeing such a tough lady for twenty odd years.
Dad I know wishes that he could retire and then take it easy for a while. He deserves it, driving up to work every day and coming home. That's three hours round trip plus the time spent at work which is 7 to 5. But I rarely see him anymore. It's getting to the point where I can live my life without having to worry about him much.
Emotionally, I'm solid in my family. I have no major problems, my school is going well and I'm becoming better friends with Monika who I secretly crush on. I feel like a schoolboy again when I speak with her. She's so easy going, loves childrens lit, has similar interests and isn't INSANE like my co-workers which is a plus. And she actually knows about books I like to read. Aw well, that's for when something else comes in. I doubt I'd see her again after this semester but there's a chance I could meet someone like her or even find her again next year.
An epiphany. I'm growing up. My family is changing. It's time I stepped into the spotlight.
Don't think this changes anything. I'm still the Diaries Insanity Monger. I still play cards and read manga, fiction and watch anime. But I'm going to grow up if it's the last thing I do.
I'm challenging your virtues, Peter Pan.
Time for Shaun's rarely used Serious Mode.
It's my mom again. She's feeling horrible that dad is constantly away. Compound that with no vacation time and two full time jobs and it makes it difficult for her. She's breaking down emotionally and physically. Today she brought out the "Can you survive if I die and dad remarries?" spiel.
Normally I don't let this bother me. I should rephrase that. I CANNOT let it bother me.
I have no doubt that my dad loves my mom and vice versa. But it's becoming hard with him constantly off on some event in another province, another country or even overseas for a month. And dad's feeling the strain too from all the travelling. Saying that he feels worried that Kyle and I are unconcerned that he's not home.
For Kyle, I understand where he's coming from. He's emotionally deadened by his medication which is an anti-depressant and he has a different schedule than dad does. For me, I'm the housekeeper.
I'm in the house more than mom, dad and Kyle combined. I get talked to a lot even though Kyle's not the most sociable person on the face of the planet. And I hear things that makes me ignore the senario around me.
It's not that I ignore things really, it's more like, I cannot let it bother me because of the simple fact that I'd be emotionally burdened for the rest of the year. And my work was affected the LAST time this occoured when mom was heaping her fears of dad leaving her onto me. I can't imagine how terrible it'd be if I had to suddenly quit school AFTER the drop date because I can't focus without bombing.
I understand my mom's fears. She's not as emotionally and physically tough as my dad is. She's fragile compared to him and gets worried easily. Two jobs, providing for three people, four if dad's home, dad is off on vacations and the buisness trips and she wants everyone to go on the August Fishing Trip to Vancouver Island. It's tough, really, to see your mom so fragile after seeing such a tough lady for twenty odd years.
Dad I know wishes that he could retire and then take it easy for a while. He deserves it, driving up to work every day and coming home. That's three hours round trip plus the time spent at work which is 7 to 5. But I rarely see him anymore. It's getting to the point where I can live my life without having to worry about him much.
Emotionally, I'm solid in my family. I have no major problems, my school is going well and I'm becoming better friends with Monika who I secretly crush on. I feel like a schoolboy again when I speak with her. She's so easy going, loves childrens lit, has similar interests and isn't INSANE like my co-workers which is a plus. And she actually knows about books I like to read. Aw well, that's for when something else comes in. I doubt I'd see her again after this semester but there's a chance I could meet someone like her or even find her again next year.
An epiphany. I'm growing up. My family is changing. It's time I stepped into the spotlight.
Don't think this changes anything. I'm still the Diaries Insanity Monger. I still play cards and read manga, fiction and watch anime. But I'm going to grow up if it's the last thing I do.
I'm challenging your virtues, Peter Pan.
