It Could Always Be Worse - Lantern Blues Draft 1/?

[drunkenpandaren]

It Could Always Be Worse: Lantern Blues

Written by Shaun Garin


You’ve all seen this set up before; a man from another planet being perused by a malevolent force. Clashes of yellow and green light boomed overhead and soon a green form fell to earth, far out of sight away from the opponent.

Now a thousand tiny little problems can fudge a ring search. In most cases, it asks for the skilled or the qualified, which would net you a Hal Jordon, a Kyle Rainier or even a John Stewart. Sometimes it would catch someone with qualifications such as “The strongest” or “the most powerful”. In this case it would slip onto the finger of say Superman or a certain four-foot little girl from Unimari City named Nanoha Takamachi.

This was a case of the same situation, as the ring was commanded to find “The Best”. It zoomed around in an almost fruitless search. “The Best” was a very BROAD term and there was a lot of qualified people. It briefly considered the one who called themselves The Batman. But then it realized giving a man who prided himself the master of every known weapon in the living universe would probably overpower him to high hell. The Ring decided it’ll go with number two, a man who was living in Reefside as a science teacher.


Superman was getting his ass kicked. But then again, it was part for the course when up against a new opponent; most of them did that to him. At least it wasn’t magic and certainly not a little girl with a croquet mallet.

A Superman over a few fanfiction universes twitched at that statement.


Tommy was having some kind of epileptic fit at the least. It was bad enough that Zeltrax was able to get one over him that day but when he was punted into the wall, a green ring came out of nowhere and granted him more powerful armor.

BUT IT WAS GREEN! GREEN!

Tommy was cringing under his helmet as he had gone an entire shade from black to green. It wasn’t unfamiliar but the newcomer with the yellow ring was something to be reckoned with.

“Hey Dr. O, what’s with the new guy in yellow spandex?” asked Ethan, looking at the guy.

“It looks better on Kira,” said Conner.

“Oh gee, thanks for that,” groused Kira with a roll of her eyes under her helmet. “Compare me to the evil guy.”

“I think Dr. O’s having a seizure or something,” said Conner with a shrug of his shoulders.

“You know I’m right here Conner,” proclaimed Tommy with a incredibly irritated tone in his voice.

“Excuse me, but I want that ring.” Said Sinestro.

“Piss off,” said Tommy.

Violence ensured.


“I am going to crawl into bed or something,” groaned Tommy as he headdesked repeatedly. “And never come out for the next few weeks until this blows over.”

“Can’t you just give the ring up?” asked Hayley.

“Superpowers,” replied Hayley and Tommy tiredly chimed in with, “you don’t choose them, they choose you.”

“Hey Dr. O, there’s someone at the door,” said Kira and Tommy looked over tiredly at the door.

Seeing the big S at the front of the door made him groan. “We’re busy…!”


“What kind of search parameters did you exactly put into this stupid thing?” grumbled Tommy at the small Oan men.

“Very good ones,” said the leader of the Lanterns. “You cannot keep the ring.”

“No kidding,” said Tommy with a roll of his eyes. “I have enough to worry about defending Reefside.”

“If I may, the ring said “The Best” in its classified search parameters,” said Superman to the Oan people. “Wouldn’t being one of ZORDON’S chosen overqualify him?”

“Can’t I just decide if I want the ring or no?” whined Tommy. But the others weren’t listening.

“Zordon’s chosen?” The Oan’s actually blanched at that. “You mean the intergalactically famous Power Rangers?”

“Yeah, Tommy Oliver, Green Morphin. White Morphin. Red Zeo. Red Turbo. Black Brachio. Nice to meet you.” Said Tommy dryly. “What I thought you knew?”

There was a resounding chorus. It sounded like “FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF!”