drunkenpandaren: (thoughtful)
I've been involved in a lot of things lately, mostly RP stuff but in real life too. Mom's been gone for almost two weeks now on vacation in the Philippines and I've been taking care of the house. Since then I've been cleaning, cooking, experimenting with new recipes and generally giving myself a heck of a time working on various projects. I took a hiatus in Somarium so I can canon review Heartcatch Precure and Kamen Rider Fourze, and I know that's going good. A pet project of Knux and mine, Project PreDestiny, an OC series based on HCPC is getting a canonmate in SRWUG@ and that delights me to no end.

I need to make a few more posts in Mayfield to keep my AC going, and I think I'm covered for about half of my people thus far. I need to double-check since this IS the end of the month after all and the next AC will happen soon most likely. I thought I failed AC for Tsubomi and Gentarou but turns out I was good in Somarium. My last game has been so incredibly slow lately, so I rarely pay attention. That and I'm always covered for that game.

Turns out that frying bananas in batter is a delicious combo and I should do it more often. They don't keep too long after that, but it's always something to be happy about when a batch turns out right. Turns out we have a deep fryer thingy to use for it, so I can lower it into the pot instead of having to drop it all in instead.

My brother problems with his depression has finally begun to wean. He's better now, and not sleeping all the time, just most of the time. He's actually been up and around lately.

Been watching more shows of the space and mecha variety lately, Rinne no Laranage, Infinite Stratos, Symphogear and Kyoukai Senjou no Horizon. Still working on things like that, but it's not bad, not bad at all. And as I write this, trolling music aka Chypre and Coffret's theme comes up on my playlist. Wonderful.

Oh and I've closed one of our old comms on LJ from public access. It's not like anyone's going to use it anymore, right? No one can join it and what prompted it was that there was a spambot trying to get into the membership repeatedly.

PTSD

Jun. 16th, 2011 12:12 am
drunkenpandaren: (No Snake Think Harder)
I take things too hard.

I think I need a place to jot this down without anyone judging me right now. And I know they're not, but still, I feel like I need to get it off my chest.

I distrust mods. So much. And irrationally too. Ever since Dive I felt like they were here to screw me over. And thus, I distrusted them. It's hard trying not to project this onto people, but when things get rough, I feel like slamming my head against the wall and yelling. But it's not going to help. Why? Because I know deep down they're not here to screw me.

I just feel like I need a new hobby recently, one to take me out of RPing, get me something to do like gardening or chores. I dunno if it's the apathy talking but recently I've been feeling like I need to drop games when I really shouldn't NEED TO. I just feel like I HAVE TO because I have no basis in the way that I feel this poorly. I have these emotional upswings and downswings and it frustrates me.

Yes I am on medication, there's a slight anti-depressant in my tourettes medication. I still need more of it to be honest but I'm not dependant completely.

I just feel like it's hard to break off from this cycle sometimes. When times get tough and RL gets harsh, my RP fun suffers and I snarl angrily behind closed doors like the proverbial Tazmanian Devil.

So if I do get mad, and snarky and whatever, remind me politely I need to back off from the subject. It really isn't healthy for me to let a bad experience ruin my fun and life.

Or I might just do what Totalbiscuit has done with WoW, and quit the games I love entirely.

And no one wants that.
drunkenpandaren: (Foamy)
It's barely noon and my day has been complete and utter shite. It is like punishment from God since I got up this morning and it hasn't stopped one bit to give me a moments peace before I completely lose it. Really, I am worked up, tired, angry, frustrated and it never stops screwing up.

Not only do I have a terrible headache and headcold, but the stress is mounting day by day in order to find work. If I could get work I could but I can't do anything unless I get a call back. I've submitted my application to a lot of places over the last few weeks and I haven't heard from anyone at all which is upsetting. Even more upsetting is that ma is apparently on the frickin warpath today, calling me useless on top of things and lazy.

Yeah, way to be supportive ma. Really. Just go ahead and say things that hurt my feelings, never apologize for it and feel like you're the victim here. Fantastic you should win an award for that.

I dunno, between this, the DDOS absolutely ruining my entire mood for RP for the last MONTH to say the least of the snails pace Spamalot turned out to be, I just want to get out of the house and do something constructive. However I already DID THAT this morning, and now I'm stuck in front of the comp again.

Kyle's coming home to what I figure is going to be a shitstorm since he also forgot his medication here at the house. He's totally buggered if he doesn't have it so he has to come back. Or I go there. But after ma's angry ANGRY tirade this morning I'd rather just give a metaphorical middle finger and not go anywhere.

Sigh.

What a clusterfuck this day has been and its only Tuesday. Goddamn really. Makes me want to drink harder sometimes.
drunkenpandaren: (BlackMageExplinations)
Boobs.

Now that I’ve gotten your attention, welcome back to the Shaun LJ Podcast in which I ramble about things from a cynical and jaded perspective that usually doesn’t suit my fancy but today we’ll be talking about things that people like to debate and yet scream angrily about, writing angry letters to congress about.

Rape Culture. Yes, those sensitive flowers can move along on this, this is going to be highly inflammatory and at best, a sociologists nightmare. I know it gives me goosebumps just writing these words.

in which I get ranty )
drunkenpandaren: (BlackMageExplinations)
Shade: Shadow

Level: Thunder (Mind)

Color: Green

Archetype: The Paladin

Traits: Dominant Negative Masculine

You are on the side of Shadow; you would be a Green Ranger. Your animal is the Basilisk (DNM)

Tallies
Light - 3. - Shadow - 6. Dark - 0.
Dino - 0. Thunder - 3. Ninja - 1.
Red - 7. Green - 13. Blue - 3. Pink - 6. Yellow - 5. Black - 5. Purple - 10. White - 8.

Shadow is considered a great mystery. The balance point between Light and Dark, followers of this path are bound only to the codes they hold in their own hearts. As a result, this power can not be lost in a change of allegiance, because a Shadow's loyalty is always within him or her. Though most can be described as honorable, it is a personal honor, and not necessarily that defined by the light or the dark.

Thunder is the level of the Mind. These types prefer to use their wits to get through a crisis. Usually lighter-hearted than either of their counterparts, Thunder types will throw themselves into action, reinventing their ideas on the fly, if need be. Patience is not one of their strong suits, nor is persistence. Thunders would rather find the easiest, quickest way of resolving a problem, rather than waiting for a solution to present itself, or keeping at a seemingly unsuccessful tactic.

Two of the Green Grid Animals are reptiles, a fact which is quite fitting with the legendary Green temper. Unlike Reds, whose anger burns quickly and hot, Green anger is a cold, slow-burning flame. It's usually a terrifying thing to behold, because it can do so much more damage. Luckily, Greens don't get truly angry very often, and when they do, it's a righteous rage. After all, the Green Archetype is also known as the Holy Knight. As the name would imply, Greens are usually noble and honorable, warriors who fight to uphold what they believe in and protect the innocent. When Dark, this would obviously be the exact opposite. A Dark Green would have a code of honor, but would fight to uphold the pure ideals of evil. Often loners to some extent, Greens tend to be very self-contained, rarely giving anyone a glimpse into their inner self. Their friendship is hard to obtain, but once given, is nearly impossible to lose. And most people who have put forth the effort will agree that, on the whole, the rewards are worth it.

Greens are warriors, knights, not soldiers. As a result, they often have a hard time following orders, which leads to a lot of friction with Reds. Greens follow orders only when they respect the person giving them, and rank isn't necessarily going to win a Green's respect. They have little patience for bureaucracy, mindless rules, or doing things 'because that's the way it is.' Often, Greens make better leaders than followers, because they will never needlessly endanger a person under their protection. In fact, Greens often are self-sacrificing, simply because they value the lives of others much more than their own.

Bad things tend to happen to Greens, and no one knows quite why. Many of them are orphans, and most hide at least one painful secret in their pasts. Usually more. Perhaps because of this, Greens tend to be the ones who walk the line between the darkness and light more often than the other colors. To balance this out, Greens tend to latch onto a quest, something to focus on, a service higher than themselves. Whether it's Scott Summers and his devotion to Charles Xavier's dream, Dinobot and his honor, or Tommy Oliver's desire to be the perfect Ranger, every Green has a dream that means far more than life itself.

Notable Greens: Darkwing Duck (Dino), Ghostbusters - Peter Venkman (Thunder), Power Rangers - Tommy Oliver (Ninja), X-Files - Fox Mulder (Ninja), Digimon - Yamato "Matt" Ishida (Ninja), Transformers - Rodimus Prime (Thunder), Transformers Beast Wars - Rattrap (Thunder), Jim Ellison (Ninja), Transformers Beast Wars - Dinobot (Dino), Big Bad Beetleborgs - Drew McCormick (Ninja)

A Dominant person is in the front of the crowd, usually the focus of attention. A Negative person is more quiet and reserved, less active. A Masculine person is not definitely male persay; rather, he or she is more of a loner regarding problem solving. A Masculine person tends to solve problems on his or her own, only getting help when no other options are available.


Christ I am good. I knew this was going to happen.
drunkenpandaren: (Are You Stupid?!)
Ladies and gentlemen welcome back to the Shaun Livejournal Podcast. This is me reporting on an issue I've noticed, and some people forgotten what they're really HERE for. I'd like to start off with a little quote to begin the issue at hand.

"In the end it is your quality time that matters, and how you spend it is completely up to you. If you're not enjoying what you're doing, get out and do something else." - Totalbiscuit, Azeroth Daily

Sager words from a sage man who is bloody hilarious at times. Which brings us to tonight's point: Livejournal RP.

While everyone knows my feelings on this matter, I'd like to address that in the end it is a game. A game that on can pick up and drop depending on how things go. You will find people who you dislike considerably, and people who you love. People who you enjoy being with are banned, and some who you dislike readily will be put on pedestals of "win and love".

In the end though, what did you accomplish being there? There's memories, oh yes, but you have to wonder if you're spending it constructively, in your own definition of constructive. How in the world do you do this? Well, you look at yourself and ask yourself "Is it still fun?"

From there, you just debate on it for a moment. Is it worth staying for it? Is it? Really? Did you make any friends? Did people who you liked become jerks in their own way?

Really, its all up to the player who decides where he or she is going. Because in the end, Livejournal RP is only a bare minimum of the internet. It really HAS NO BEARING on real life. RL > RP and there's always room for stuff you want to do in anything.

I'd like to close this with a little statement of Tycho Brahe's: "To excel at a game, it has to become some kind of WORK. I've made my peace with Last Place years ago."

This to me, speaks on the other side of the spectrum, and really, it is up to you as a person to realize what you need to do, what you need for yourself.

Just remember, when it ceases to be fun, do something else. The same goes for life in general (except work, death and taxes), and certainly goes for games created for people's enjoyment. You may comment, but don't get inflammatory or call me out, whatever. This is just two cents and I'd like any responses to be civil. Anyone who doesn't will be tossed off my journal post-haste. There is no anon here, so take it like a man.
drunkenpandaren: (PrinnyPlease)
In this moment, I'd like to at least point out to everyone that despite the title of my post, I am not making light of our profound tragedy. Everyone in Japan, our hearts are out to you. Instead, just to give us some hope, Gokaiger 4 has been watched by me today and I have a few things to share about it.

Knowing ahead of time that this episode was a Joe focused one, I sat down to see the torrent and I was pleasantly surprised at how well the character was lending himself to this one. Instead of really divulging into his backstory, it seems that Joe has been well known in the group for being the stoic one, and while Ahin is still new, she worries because she's his comrade. It's just that everyone else has their own ideas towards being comrades.

Storyline aside, I think it was a nice establishing piece of what Joe is really about, the one who is dependable and able to fight the way he wants to, by himself in a legit man to man duel. His motivations are getting clearer as everyone else's and I'm rather glad to see that the Gokaigers weren't able to access any of the mecha forms of everyone right off the bat. All they have is MagiGokai-Oh and it pleases me to see that they're not getting the whole thing all off the hop.

Also, a final wave being done by a single person with five swords at once? Yeah, that is fantastic.

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drunkenpandaren

May 2013

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